I knew if I put my hand in my pocket and She turned and saw She would know exactly what I was doing and there could be trouble, but then I figured that it would be worth it, even if I couldn’t go back there again.As I watched a customer went in, it turned out to pay his paper bill or something, so She reached under the counter for Her book to sum up what he owed or whatever, and even though I only had a side view as She leant over the counter, all my pent-up perv desire spilled over and the spunk spilled into my pants, the shots making my knees dip as I tried to stop convulsing and moaning, just in case She looked round and saw me. I’m not sure but there’s a good chance She could see me with peripheral vision, but chose not to show She could see me, knowing perhaps that I desperately needed to do what I was doing. I like to k** myself that’s the case, but then I’m a wanker and that’s the sort of fantasy us wankers have to have. Miss Melanie’s ‘stocking-tops show’Finding Miss Melanie. I see Claire and Louise waiting for us and waving as we are about to cross. I have given this journal to Elizabeth to keep until I have successfully made the crossing.July 6, 1847Alex was injured by a submerged log while we were crossing the Green River. He remains unconscious and is running a fever. We are taking care of him as best we can but don't have his knowledge. We pray to God that he survives. I don't know what we would do without him - ElizabethJuly 7, 1847Alex has been semi-conscious today and is drinking the willow bark tea that Louise has brewed for him. Many in the wagon train have offered their sympathy about his injury. We are determined we will not lose him. - ClaireI hope he gets well. I have finally found a kind man who accepts me as I am. I am in love with him, although I know he doesn't love me. Please Lord, help him get well. - LouiseJuly 8, 1847I woke up in our wagon, with Elizabeth bathing my head. I heard Claire and Louise talking on the wagon seat and felt.
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